Mid-Something Ramblings

Happiness and the Root of it

No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.

My Biggest questions right now are: Who am I living my life for? What fears and preconditions are holding me back from being the happiest that I can be. The kicker: How can I change it? I don’t want to go through life as a piece of meat soaking up the juice/marinade of other people. I want to be my own protagonist in this movie, not the sidekick that fades out halfway through the movie. There are a few days out of the week, where I just go through the motions that are expected of me. I don’t want to be that anymore. I am tired of living up to everyone else’s expectations and not up to my own. So I have decided that I need to not bow to the whims and wishes of a world that frowns upon the different.

I have two fears that always stop me from doing something: The fear of failing, and that fear, the one that everyone has, of not be liked or being a burden. So I am going to put on my big girl panties and step up to the plate. (I could probably fit a few more clichéd puns in there) But you get the point. This is my life and I will not being placed a cute little package and set upon the shelf.

Mandy is Mandy and that is all I can be. So if you don’t like it, can’t handle it or anything now is the time to look for the exit. This is me taking the doormat away. I may believe in the ideal of ‘Nobless Oblige’ but that doesn’t mean I can be walked out. I fully believe that you have a moral obligation/responsibility to help one another. If we just helped one another without judging the world would be better off. But that is a post for another time. This is just a declaration post.

So here it is: I am my own person, not a marinating meat. I will not be a cute little china doll on a shelf. I putting aside fear and living my life the way I want to. I CAN slay my own dragons and I am not waiting for a knight in shining armor to make my life better. I love you my lovelies but I don’t need a lover or partner to make my life better. I want enhance of happiness, not a moonship. I am not the moon; I will not revolve around love. Love can revolve around me.


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